Wednesday, February 16

Those Words....

Three words that can change a life.
To each person they mean something
Different. I love you. Panic. Joy.
Fear. Hope. Love. Terror.
Love is a tonic; it can heal the broken hearted.
Love is a poison; it can ruin lives.

Love is not at all what it seems. 
I hear those words and I panic. 
Why can things never, 
Stay the way they were.
Was it so wrong to be friends?
More than friends.
Now you have expectations. Duties I can't fulfill.
You look to me to hang the moon...
I'm hiding behind the stars.

You tell me I'm beautiful and
I run for the hills. You want to be close
I want to be free.
Why can't you see?
Why can't you hear me?
This isn't what I want.
I want freedom. I want independence.
You want love, you expect my
Obedience, loyalty, faithfulness, and respect.
I don't want a ring, and I don't want what this has become.
You look to me for happiness.
I look to myself for that.

This is not fair to me.
You want more than I can give.
Your affection and acceptance scare me. 
I've had this before, I've liked, I've loved. 
And I've been hurt. Scarred, scared, bruised.

In turn I hurt you. I turn you into myself.
You become bitter. Cynical. Untrusting.
You have become me. You can see what it took
To do this to me.
You understand. And when she falls for you;
You do what I did. You run. You panic.
You scream to yourself.
You hide with your ghosts. You hate that she cares.
You hate that she can't understand your fear.
Just the way I hated you for falling in love with me.

The whole problem.
The whole mistake. Is that once, I cared. I believed.
And I got hurt. Thanks to those three damn words, 
Lives are changed. I. Love. You.
Those words shouldn't be allowed.
All they do is hurt.

Now. I realize I was wrong once.
It wasn't that I can't love.
It is that I couldn't love then.
Now. I realize that I can love.
Those words...that I couldn't say.
Now I can say them.
Now I know what they mean.

You will find love. And she will find love.
It wasn't that love was wrong, it's that love
Came at the wrong time.
And we weren't ready for that kind of power.

When the right person comes along love is all there is.
Fear is gone. And freedom is still ours.
The right person won't rob you of all that is important.
They magnify those qualities.
They teach those lessons.
And they say those words.

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