Wednesday, January 26

Too old for Fairy Tales?

They say I am too old to believe in fairy tales
But I want more than anything else, a knight
To save me, in shining armor, riding a white steed.
Maybe he will really wear worn out jeans and a sweatshirt,
But I know that he will be a friend and confidante
Someone unafraid to hold me and say it'll be all right.
I know I sound like a kid again as I make this wish,
Oh but if he only knew that I was out there, and needed
A hero again. I don't say anything about my wish,
Afraid of what they might think, but if he finds me
I won't be afraid ever again. Maybe I already know him,
He just doesn't know he is the one who will calm my fears
And hold me close. I have everyone else convinced that I am
Strong and brave, but sometimes I want to be able to drop that
Front and worry about my life and where it is going.
I seem to be calm and collected, always cool. Never a problem
To ripple the surface of my image. But beneath it all
I don't know what to do. I am confused and scared, terrified of my
Destiny, will I be the perfect person they think I am or will I turn
Out to be a mess, scarred and bruised. A broken heart can only be mended
By one thing, the love of another human being. Ah but only if fairy tales
And wishes came true, my heart would be whole, my life
A trophy. Hanging in the balance is my heart, easily mended by
A kind word and a consoling hug. But will I ever get that
Treasure, easily described but painfully attained. Something swinging
Just out of my grasp, I, more than anything else, want my hero, my knight,
My healer to step out of the shadows that surround my life and hold me, whisper to me,
And tell me that he loves me. Fairy tales always end with happily everafter,
What does my everafter contain. Is it happiness and love, or
The weeds and thorns of a despair and brokenheartedness.
If only I had a crystal ball, to look into and see what my future was
Woven of, the beautiful silken strands of dreams come true and perfect harmony
Or the ugly, worn threads of sadness and loneliness. Fairy tales are for the young and cheery, but if only the fairy tale my life  could become would transform itself into reality and
Make my life a fairy tale of its own.

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